In a cold New York City before the holidays, a communications professional tries to keep moving after his father dies suddenly. He throws himself into work, chases women, and grows bitter toward the world.
When a new job offer appears, he has to look at what he’s done with his life and what he actually values. Old memories start to surface.
He travels to Los Angeles to see his mother, whom he hasn’t spoken to in years. The visit stirs up feelings he thought he’d buried and forces him to admit he hasn’t been honest with himself.
He tries to lean on a friend, hoping for something more, but she doesn’t feel the same. That rejection makes him look at his life differently. He starts to see that he can face what he’s been avoiding.
‘All the Ways I Ruined It’ follows a man trying to figure out who he is after loss. The story looks at grief, second chances, and what it means to find your place when the world feels distant. He has to decide if he’s ready to move forward.
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Quote from the book
“After the wake, when everyone left, my Mom hugged me. She had tears under her eyes. I wiped them away, embarrassed by the dirt under my nails from throwing soil on my father’s coffin. Why do people even do that? It looks good in movies. Maybe there’s a reason. I should look it up. Anyway, my Mom went home, I went back to college, and now that I think about it, that was the last time I saw my real Mom. The Mom I used to know.”
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GENRE: Upmarket Literary / Contemporary Fiction
WORDCOUNT: 60,000+
But how does the book read?
It’s a voice-driven novel built on tension and release. The narration stays close to the protagonist’s inner world, balancing detachment, dark humor, and moments of emotional pressure that surface without warning.
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Chris Kenn 